Sudha Kallakuri, Research Fellow — Mental Health division, The George Institute India, shares her experience of being home quarantined for 15 days to prevent herself from COVID-19
The worldwide coronavirus pandemic has created so much unrest and panic. I too have not been able to escape these sorts of thoughts and feelings. The emotional roller-coaster I went through during my return from Australia to India began on 21st March, 2020 when I arrived at Sydney Airport to take a flight back to New Delhi. The decision of travelling back to India itself was a difficult one to take as I had to cut down my planned length of stay in Australia for my PhD and was very stressed about the implications it could have in my candidature. However, I took the decision of coming back.
With the continuous changes that were happening across the world, every day was stressful and my eyes were glued to my laptop to check for any national announcements/decisions taken by the governments, both Australia and India that may have any implications on my travel. I somehow managed to reach the airport where people were in stress, filled with uncertainty, helplessness and an eagerness to get back to their loved ones.
I knew the outcomes were unsure and thought about the numerous checks I was going to face and the kind of treatment I would have to go through. I was worried about this uncertainty, and was thinking: “Will I ever get home safely? What if I contract this infection during the travel on the flight, or have already got the infection, or at the airport or in the cab? Will I be able to avoid spreading this disease in my family?”
I was going crazy.
These thoughts haunted me throughout the journey. From the moment I landed in Delhi, each minute was difficult as there was no certainty on how things would turn out. I spent almost 12 hours waiting at the airport to complete the immigration and health screening process. It was exhausting, with no food, and no idea about how long it would take to leave the airport and a constant fear of contracting the infection due to so many strangers around me whose health conditions were unknown.
Finally, at around 5:00 am the next day, I went through the screening process at Delhi airport and the doctors stamped my hand with a sign that said: ‘Home Quarantine.’
It took me a while to accept the stamp because I knew people would see it, and I wondered how they would behave with me. However, I diverted my mind and tried to focus on the fact that I had successfully passed one stage. I was happy that I would now be able to come home and nothing was going to stop me.
All this was possible because I took care and followed all the precautions to protect myself from contracting any kind of infection during this time. I was so cautious and never allowed my emotions to rule my mind, which helped me follow the instructions so carefully and logically.
Further, I was fortunate to have a support system of family and friends during this journey and finally managed to reach home in Hyderabad at 10:30 am the same day. Knowing that I live in an apartment complex of around 200 flats, I took a lot of precautions. I was mentally prepared that I needed to be locked up in a room for 15 days.
I took extreme care – not even touching the lift door or button with my hands, which I knew was used by many others. I had already asked my kids and my husband to leave and stay elsewhere during this self-isolation period. However, I was equally worried about my parents who were staying with me in the same house. I gave myself a moral boost, telling myself that “It’s just a matter of few days and then everything will return to normal!”
I started day one of my isolation trying to engage myself and got on my laptop to forget all my thoughts and mixed feelings about staying alone in the same house. I connected with my friends, who were eagerly waiting for my arrival. They gave me a lot of strength and support. I said to myself “If things stay like this, these 15 days will pass easily!”
But I was wrong.
My parents kept getting calls from other residents in the apartments, saying they were concerned that I kept the balcony door open in my room, and that I should not step onto the balcony. I was completely shattered and felt bad after hearing it. People started asking my father why he was leaving home again and again, and he was now not allowed to go downstairs even to buy essential commodities.
Guilt and helplessness overpowered me. I wondered if they were the same people who used to be so close to me and consider me and my family as important parts of their lives.
That was not all – my close friends also kept getting calls from others to check if I went through a screening process during my travel home, and to know my whereabouts.
All these things disturbed me. So, I wrote a long message in a WhatsApp group describing in detail all the precautions I’m taking and the screening process I went through. I reassured them that their safety is my priority and I’m a responsible individual. Thereafter, I received messages from people and calls from other friends expressing their support, which made me even stronger and I decided to fight all the negativity around me.
I thought this would be the best time to complete all the pending tasks I was struggling to complete some days ago. I planned a daily routine and stuck to it, which also included making sure there is somse time to talk to my friends and family. It gave me assurance and motivation to complete my tasks. I dedicated some time to work on my hobbies, took time to think, reflect and bring in a lot more positivity by watching some spiritual as well as factual motivational videos, which helped me reflect and rejuvenate myself daily.
The key thing I learnt in these few days of self-isolation is that life is not always the same. There will be situations we all will need to face alone and these will make you stronger, and teach you discipline and positivity. I consider myself fortunate and would like to appeal to everyone to think twice before passing judgement or having stigmatising thoughts about someone who is going through difficult times in his her life.
Best wishes for being strong in the tough moments
Life have taught you a lesson which u cannot find in any syllabus
This lesson will be your strength in any tough time for you in life
With regards and best wishes sending you blessings of happiness